Friday 25 July 2014

A Portmanteau Church Words Dictionary

You know how it is. Church words, largely derived from Greek or Latin, mean little to the world of real people out there. You know - "out there"  - the world beyond the Church door. Which, when engaged in church-related activities, you talk about like it's 19th Century Africa. But the rest of the time you mostly manage to go the market, do your grocery shop, pick up your kids from the school or do a full day's work at the office without once noticing that the denizens smell of brimstone, have lives shorn of all meaning, or wear horns on a daily basis.

The average human being, presented with words like "righteousness" or "justification", goes totally blank. So why waste them? Why not combine them into portmanteau Church words? Then you will have a new level of precision to your jargon. And your average human being will be doubly blank. Or, possibly, blank squared.

AnabaptistryA second water tank.
AntinomiallennialismThe belief that, since the world's gonna end, we may as well have a proper party.
CharismodalistSomeone who only has one spiritual gift at a time.
ComplementariamaticBelieving in signs and wonders. But only for male robots.
ErastiabilismFinding the establishment of the church annoying.
EvangelicemulsionPaint suitable for chapels. Normally white or pastel. Light blue is nice.
Hauerwasitforyou?What you say when you've been inculturated.
JustinificationBeing as saved as an Orthodox emperor.
PentecosterlismEast-end Charismatic church tradition.
SandemanicheismDisestablished dualism.
SolefidoismOnly believing in one dog.
ZorroarianismA masked Hispanic heretic rights wrongs.

1 comment :

  1. Solefidoism involves repetitive singing of "Our Dog is a Great Big Dog"


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