Monday 7 July 2014

Psalm of Celebration at the Return of Pointless to BBC1

When we heard that Pointless was back on BBC1, we were as in a dream
We dusted off the map of Africa and sat back ready.
So long through Wimbledon fortnight we waited for Alexander and Richard
Agog at 5.15 we would flick the channel to 1
And what did we find?
Some bloke bashing woolly balls around
Or a woman flashing her knickers around
and groaning. Too loudly.
Great was the wailing of the female tennis stars
our teeth were put on edge at the howling
"Grendel" the Community Cat hid behind the settee
Convinced that Fenris Wolf had come to claim his own.
Bereft, we walked through the shadow of death
of obscure knowledge and random geekery.

How we laughed when Djokovic won
How we smiled at the knowledge the tennis was over
With what joy we flicked to the wonders of BBC1 HD
To see Richard, resplendent in his cleverness and tallness
And dark-eyed Alexander,
whose eyes are like unto the wells between the walls.
And so may we shout out the name of the children in famous books
And reckon that Vanuatu is worth a punt
And reel off the base metals of groups both 1 and 2
And characters from Eastenders.
And in response to "Name an obscure chelonian"
the sound of "the turtle" will be heard in the land.


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