And this Evening Standard Article that is so bad it may have to be fixed - currently telling us that Ms Markle will have to be baptised and confirmed "because she is a Protestant" and will need godparents to speak for her.Meghan Markle to be baptised, confirmed and become a British citizen before a May wedding at Windsor, Palace say.— Harry Cole (@MrHarryCole) November 28, 2017
The Baptism
Bishop: Forasmuch as Meghan is a Protestant, and to enter into the holy state of Anglicanism and being Posh, she must be baptised. Therefore I ask the godparents to speak for her....
Godparents: Can't she speak for herself? She is an adult.
Bishop: Yeah, but she's gonna be a Royal. So she'd better get used to keeping her trap shut on matters of importance.
Godparents: Righty-ho. In that case can we just say that we reject sin, the flesh and the gutter press?
The Confirmation
Bishop: Forasmuch as, after baptism, Meghan is still half a Protestant, we'd better Confirm her as well. Make her a proper
Godparents: Can she speak for herself this time?
Bishop: Yep. Push off.
Godparents: OK. We'll be back as witnesses for the wedding?
Bishop: Whatever.
The Making of a British Citizen
The Queen: Given that we're going to need Meghan to know where places in Britain are, and that Scotland's not part of London, then her being American is going to be a bit of a problem. So the answer is to make her a British citizen.
Bishop: Is this normally a part of a baptism service?
The Queen: Who's got the job of Supreme Governor, pointy-hat-boy?
Bishop: Good point.
The Queen: OK. Ignoring all the rules, and remembering that I own all the churches because one of my relatives killed any of the clergy that argued, I hereby decree that Meghan's as British as jellied eels and whatever ghastly food Cockneys eat with.
Dick Van Dyke: Gor blimey. Strike a Loight. Lambeff Wark.
Bishop: OK..... if we can proceed to the marriage then?
Duke of Edinburgh: Crack on. I've got some peasants to shoot...
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My understanding from an American friend is that even though she attended an RC college, she was never baptized into any faith group. She is therefore at the moment a Pagan - and suitable to be a member of the Beaker Folk - can you not get in before the ABC and claim her as your own?
ReplyDeleteWell I'm very pleased that Harry is marrying Angela Merkel
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