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Saturday, 4 November 2017

Marston Goes on a Poppy Frenzy

Is it me or does the date for frenzies over people wearing poppies get earlier every year?

Marston Moretaine's just got back from Milton Keynes. I say got back. He appears to have been removed from the town by a combination of the police and the Royal British Legion.

He was apparently breaching the peace by harassing anyone not wearing what, in Marston's opinion, was  the right poppy.

Anybody wearing no poppy got accused of being a "traitor and probably a Libtard Remainer who probably wants to live in Belgium after Brexit. You should stay here and suffer like the rest of us."

Anybody wearing a white poppy was told they were a "traitor and pacifist, wanting to sell this country down the river to the Welsh." Marston has never been very good at geography or world history, hence his repeated claims that "Britain has never been a part of Europe."

Then he was running to up small children, pointing out them and screaming "What did you do in the War, Fritz?"

I mean, I don't know why he thinks he's hard done by, getting thrown out of Buckinghamshire like that. He says he was only expressing his freedom of speech. But that doesn't cover taking pictures of all the non-red-poppy-wearers with the intention of updating his Facebook photo album "Quislings and Enemies of the State."

Anyway. He was getting so ranty when he was back that I felt drastic measures were required. So I showed him my proposed "rainbow poppy." I was thinking that maybe next year we could sell them in aid of LGBTI+ veterans, charging merely a reasonable admin fee. But it certainly had the required effect. Marston passed out, overcome by pure self-righteousness.

I tell you what. It will be a relief when we reach November 12. That's when Marston puts his poppy back into that little china jug he keeps on the dresser for that specific reason.

Then next year on 16 October, he'll take it out again. He hasn't actually bought one since 1993.

Like to laugh about the church but need it in paper form? Then you probably need "Writes of the Church  -  Gripes and Grumbles of People in the Pews" by the creator of "The Beaker Folk".  From Amazon, BRF and good Christian bookshops.
A queue of people at the vicarage door, holding letters. The vicar is hiding behind the curtains.
Writes of the Church - On sale now and perfect for Christmas


  1. shouldn't it be 'up the river to the welsh'? higher ground etc.
    Welsh poppies are yellow, of course, but I don't suppose Hedd Wyn would've minded either way

  2. The Poppy Mafia? I am a veteran, and won't be wearing a Poppy until the 11th, Armistice Day.


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