Election and recognition of Druids

I'm pleased to be able to announce the results of yesterday's Election of Druids, and the posts to which I have assigned them.

For our constitution, and for greater representativeness, a minimum of 30% of posts as Archdruid are reserved for people called Eileen who own the Great House. I therefore declare myself Archdruid for a 10th glorious year. Thanks to both of you who supported me. And to those who "spoiled" your votes - please be aware that the ballot papers were individually barcoded.

Hnaef has formerly served us as Arch-Assistant Archdruid and Executive assistant Archdruid. But I like to give people a variety of experience. So I have therefore appointed Mrs Daphne Hnaef to this post.  Hnaef, on the other hand, has accepted the exciting new post of Arch-Executive Assistant Archdruid,

Morgwyn has taken the newly created role of Youth Druid. She's comparatively new to the Community, and she's a bit shouty, so I'm thinking she qualifies on both counts to do our Youth work. She has a complete collection of Dave Clark 5 records as well, so she counts as "street" and "edge" as far as I'm concerned.

I am glad to give the job of Treasurer to Burton Dasset. A bit radical this, he being a chartered accountant and all - he might do the job properly - but Burton's the kind of tax-and-tax accountant I need.

I had offered Drayton Parslow the important and resonsible role of Druidic Chaplain to the Youth Druid. I know that's a come-down from his old role of 2nd Assistant Archdruid but I've got both the Hnaefs in the senior posts now. Drayton has said that he believes that if he were on the Druids' Council, he would draw attention from me - that people would constantly be wondering if he were plotting against me. Which of course he would be. So he is pursuing a new and exciting role as Pastor of Bogwulf Independent Baptist Church (formerly St Bogwulf's Chapel). His current congregation numbers 1, which Drayton tells me is a 100% growth rate in just five days. He's very excited.

LITURGY OF THE RECOGNITION OF DRUIDS

Beaker Folk assemble in the Moot House.

Eileen walks in

All: Oo look! It's Eileen!

Hnaef walks in

All: Oo look! It's Hnaef!

Daphne Hnaef walks in

All: Morning, Daphne!

Morgwyn walks in

Morgwyn: Hiya Kids!

All: Hiya Morgwyn!

Morgwyn: Morgwyn can't hear you! Hiya Kids!

All (resignedly): Hiya, Morgwyn!

Burton walks in

All:

Burton: Ahem?

All: Oo look, it's that nerdy bloke who does the books.

The installation of the Archdruid

Anyone doing the "gas or electric" joke is removed. Eileen is strictly a book-burning druid.

Hnaef: these are the keys of the community. You can use them to lock people out of the Room of Seeing when University Challenge is on.*

Daphne: This is your pure gold druidic sickle. Don't try and cut mistletoe with it, it's far too tough and you'll bend the sickle.

Morgwn: Behold your hi-viz of surpassing brightness. Be careful - you don't want to get run over by a forklift.

Burton: Here's the dosh, Eileen. I've "lost" the receipts, as requested.

The Ecumenical Representative (Drayton): Here is your Slazenger V400 cricket bat. The sign of your authority.

The Woodwose walks in.

All: Aargh! It's a woodwose! Who let that in?

All exit, panicking. 

Woodwose: And also with you.



* Or, as it may be, Last of the Summer Wine