The Student Demos

People may have misunderstood yesterday.

I know that I said "Those students protesting about the fees! Takes me back to the old days when I went on Anti-Apartheid rallies! I remember that day when we covered the Barclays on the North Bank with Anti-Apartheid stickers! Do you remember how Neil Kinnock stood up at Trafalgar Square to speak so we all left before we got bored? Makes me feel young again!"

But that was before I realised that the people who rather unwisely enrolled on our "Entrails Studies, Tea Light Thermodynamics and Surfing" BSc were occupying the Moot House. In the circumstances I had no choice but to over-ride the fire safety equipment and drench them with water, washing up liquid and helium. Nobody looks so threatening when they look and sound like Donald Duck after a good bubble bath.

So I apologise for the confusion. And I apologise in advance for calling them a work-shy bunch of sweaty slackers who would be more profitably occupied in working in a burger shop, which is what the useless degrees we teach will qualify them for anyway. And I apologise for any offence to people who work in burger shops, who do a really valuable job, and have to deal with very shirty customers sometimes, and without whom I would occasionally go hungry.  And I apologise, of course, for offending the shirty customers of burger shops, who have frequently had very hard days themselves, and one of whom is occasionally myself. Not that I am condoning people being shirty in burger shops. And I apologise to people who are unable to get roles in burger shops. After the experience of various people over the last couple of weeks, it strikes me you may as well apologise first and save time later.