Sunday 23 October 2011

Forgetting to Forgive

OK - we're going to have to seriously modify the new Act of Reconciliation this morning. Even at this late hour, we just couldn't agree on the form of the ritual.

The first thought was that we should all stand in a circle, looking round at everyone else and assuring them we forgive the wrongs they've done to us. But Druzilla said she'd just look straight at the floor throughout as she's already forgiven and forgotten - especially Marfa, who really needed some forgiving. Charlii said she thought it was a great idea, and she'd make sure she got a good view of me for some reason. Aelfride, being an utter wet and a weed chiz said she felt looking at someone to forgive them meant labelling them as needing forgiveness. Which might cause offence - so she would therefore be keeping her eyes closed throughout.
And obviously some of the men objected that this was another example of feminized, relational ritual rather than something cut and dried and full of action and a bit more masculine - like Dryden's suggestion we build a giant balsa-wood "Ark of Sin", set fire to it and push it out into the duck pond. Which sounded great but was rejected as we didn't have time for the Risk Assessment, were worried for the welfare of the ducks (and Duckhenge, our rather tamer tribute to Seahenge) - and in any case where were we gonna get that much balsa in a hurry on a Sunday morning?

Burton Dasset, with his finely-tuned and numerate mind, came up with an interesting idea. He suggested we issue (I say "issue" - I'm thinking "sell" - every Beaker Person a small Black Book. All week you write down the names of the people that have got your goat - then ever Sunday we have the Grand Ceremony of Crossing-Out. I did ask how this fitted with the idea that "love keeps no record of wrongs" - but Burton asssures me that we can flex that for short-term liturgical recording of wrongs, as long as they are destroyed periodically  in accordance with the Data Protection Act. And we were reminded that we have actually crossed out that phrase in the 1 Corinthians reading in the Beaker Handfasting liturgy, "for pastoral reasons".

Like unto Burton's idea was the Forgiveness beads idea. This was mine. I suggested that every time you felt aggrieved with a fellow Beaker Person, you could come down to the Beaker Bazaar and buy a special Beaker Bead of Forgiveness. These would be pressure-treated with olive oil of reconciliation. Then on Sundays we would open them up (disposing of the foil wraps responsibly), pile them in a bronze Bowl of Reconciliation - and watch other people's sins that we have harboured burn to ash.
But again, not everyone would buy into it. Mostly on the grounds that there's a Euro crisis and they couldn't afford that many Beads. And Charlii reckoned he'd need a wheelbarrow, for some reason.

Which all brings me to the conclusion we reached. Instead of any of the above effective methods, we're going to try a technique called "repentance, restitution and forgiveness". With the caveat that the forgiveness is not to be dependent on the repentance and the restitution. Nor are the repentance and restitution to be conditional on the forgiveness. The Beaker People I've spoken to generally approve, on the grounds that it sounds nice and cheap. But deep down, I reckon it's going to cost more than we imagine.

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