Statement on the Archdruid's Pay

There have been some rumbling among the Beaker Folk about my 50% pay rise.

And I would like to say that I hear your concern. Especially at this time when we're all in it together. I realise that Beaker People have worked hard this year. We have increased tithes, decreased rations and had to economise in other areas.  Take the window cleaning - instead of paying for professional cleaning, we have resorted to wrapping Beaker People in giant sponges and making them bounce up and down on trampolines to get to the top windows.

And I am aware that Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley Ltd has once again shown an operating loss. And people are asking, how can I justify a stonking pay rise when we have performed so dismally? But I should point out that the results were depressed by the depreciation on the newly-refurbished Archdruid's Suite. And by some very large management fees from the holding company, Beaker Folk (Cayman Islands). So overall it was a good, and tax-efficient, set of results, which should pave the way very nicely for my plans next year to go bust and re-start as a "pre-pack" rescue, writing off outstanding debts to my suppliers and allowing the new management (i.e. me) to negotiate some more advantageous rates.

As a gesture of good faith, however, in the meantime I am planning to improve the remuneration for the volunteers in the Beaker Bazaar and the kitchen to exactly the same degree that I myself have benefited. They will all receive 50% rises, as indeed will Hnaef, our Self-Supporting Druid. After all, we're all in it together.