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Monday, 24 June 2013

The Church of England News Headline Generator


It's already been a big summer for the Church of England in the press - the vicar who works for Sainsburies, Rev Kate Bottley's Flashmob Wedding, and the alleged Pagan Church of England.

But if the stories are drying up, and you don't have the imagination to mess around with the facts like that Telegraph article on Pagans and the C of E, why not just make the whole thing up?

That's where our new Church of England News Headline Generator comes in. Just press the button below and get your earth- shattering new C of E story - all crisp and ready for the silly season.






13 comments:

  1. priceless - i feel that some of these are almost true

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  2. "Randy worship leader replaces PCC with a coven
    Barred from village hall for life"

    Not fair! I know this man.

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    Replies
    1. One in every village, I reckon.

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    2. I must apologise - the WI flashmob jam-making session resulted in some inadequate boiling times, and we made rather too merry with Mrs McFlappin's Rhubarb Lemon and Glenlivet Marmalade. I apologise unreservedly to the Morrismen for the behaviour of my coven.

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    3. Never mind the Morrismen - they deserve it. But they're still hosing-down the curate, I hear.

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  3. Excellent; would that people who should know better would take note.
    Lots of suggestions for engaging society and a potential for huge national headlines without turning what is supposed to be a sacrament into a vehicle for self publicity.

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  4. will there be a General Synod version? Actually, it's 'CofE split over women bishops' whether or not we split at all, the papers have already identified their reliable rent-a-quotes who will find something to disagree about. Thereby proving that they're good Christians, as Jesus told us that if we disagree with a fellow Chrisitan about something, we should immediately tell the whole country but on no account talk to them one to one in private.

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    Replies
    1. If I took your sentence above and randomised "women" and "gay", that would cover the next few, I reckon.

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    2. Well, yes, but what you miss is that the rentaquotes find us.

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  5. I know a vicar's husband who works for Sainsbury's (please note correct spelling, btw) ...

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  6. "Randy evangelist replaces Matins with screenings of Game of Thrones
    Giles Fraser writes controversial article in response"

    Surely this is a real headline? Everything except the word 'evangelist' anyway :)

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  7. Barmy parson in onesie......isn't that the chap with the cute dogs, especially Audrey, who takes over twitter each morning and used to play in some pop band?????

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  8. "Randy Vicar Sells Wife - Drops Dead on Egdon Heath.'

    I'm confused - is this random C of E or random Thomas Hardy?

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