Cats - A Corrective

I realise this is going to shock some people. But it has to be said. Although the picture shown here is of a cat being cute and attractive - this is an impression they like to give. They're only too happy to be photographed while playing with string, laying on their backs, or hilariously falling off things and pretending not to be embarrassed.

This cat may look like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. But he is preparing for a quick left-paw dip into the pond to remove a shubunkin.

 The thing you don't realise (and I'm hoping to get this post out before they notice) is that cats own the Internet. They control it. They are using it to make you think they are friendly, sociable animals. All this stuff about the NSA monitoring web traffic - the NSA are amateurs compared to a decent British Domestic Shorthair, when it comes to playing with its prey (us) before administering a quick bite to the back of the neck. They're having you on, luring you in until they can get enough of their friends round to make you the next course.

This cat is carrying out musocide in another dimension - which is why she is a little blurry. Note that the room is littered with cat toys - a sign of who is in charge of the establishment.

Cats scream all night, fighting and mating. They massacre the wildlife for miles around. They leave stray organs of former rodents laying around on your floor. They make your house smell of cat wee.

Catz iz not nize.