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Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Modern Social Media Proverbs

Facebook before you tweet.

A trolling clone gathers no real friends.

Don't let the cat out of the hashtag.

On Google+ no-one's around to hear you scream.

Don't cut off your nose to spite Gervais.

On Twitter, a king may look at a cat.

All work and no play makes Jack more suited to LinkedIn.

Ask a silly question and you'll get 2,000 silly answers. And a load of followers who, according to their avatars, are nearly naked.

Beauty is in the lie of the profile pic.

Bieber is in the eye of the beholder.

Brevity is the soul of a twit.

Misery loves virtual company. It's like real company, but you can sit in your pyjamas and eat toast.

Always let the sun go down on your anger. Otherwise you'd never get to bed.

Silence is golden. But it's not really the point, is it?

No news is a sign the API has broken again.

The cobbler's children have the worst shoes. But don't care. They never go out, because they're always on Skype.

The hand that rocks the cradle leaves a spare hand to operate the smartphone.

Those that throw glass houses should throw lots of stones. Then nobody will notice they've no windows left.

A little Twitter knowledge is a spurious thing.

Cuteness killed the catz.

Never speak ill of the dead. They may be on Twitter.

Never judge a blog by the cover.

The road to hell is paved with @mentions.

You can lead a horse to water, but if it doesn't fall in there's no point putting it on Pinterest.

Too many tweets get your API blocked.

Two is company, but it doesn't do much for your Twitter Grader score.

Those that do not learn from history are doomed to retweet it.

There's no such thing as bad publicity. Unless you've got to wade through thousands of pages of online insults.

There are two sides to every argument. But don't go acting like that's true.

The best things in life are free. Although they come with a number of sponsored links.

A friend on Facebook is not necessarily someone you actually know.

Hell hath no fury like two Catholics disagreeing on Twitter.

Eat, drink and be merry - all on your own, but tell us about it.

After a (twitter) storm comes the realisation we all got it wrong.

A tweet of beauty is a trend for about ten minutes.

30,000 followers corrupt absolutely.

Ignorance is bliss. Because you can share your opinion without wasting your time on research.

Stupid is as stupid posts.

Careless words waste hours.

It is easy to be wise after the event. But you miss out on all that speculation.

Fools rush in where angels decide not to retweet unfounded rumours.

Tweet in haste, retweet at Her Majesty's Pleasure.

Ne'er cast a clout and then put the photos on Facebook.

Least said, soonest mended. Although it's rather missing the point.

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