Saturday, 22 June 2013

The Super Moon - Your Questions Answered

Q - What exactly is the Supermoon?

A - It's when the Moon suddenly becomes much larger than normal. This makes it considerably brighter and more massive..

This Supermoon has a chunk missing, and so is less frightening.
Q - Doesn't that defy the 1st Law of Thermodynamics?

A - Not at all. The Supermoon effect is caused by quantum vacuum fluctuations. Or, to put it in simple terms, whenever there is a Supermoon, there is another satellite on the other side of the universe that becomes much smaller.

Q - Does it have any effect on the Earth?

A - Yes. The additional gravitational pull - "supergravity" - of Supermoons has been associated with tidal waves, increased volcanic activity, unusual squirrel migration patterns and the release of David Hasselhoff singles. In extreme cases, gravitons can actually fall from the sky and roll around on the ground.

Q - So what you're saying is, we're all going to die, aren't we?

A - In a word, probably.

Q - Do Supermoons appear in ancient writings?

A - Not real ancient history. Not like the Chinese, or Caesar, or anything. But in some pagan lore which we've just invented, it is said that the world will end whenever there is a Supermoon. Followed by clouds clearing and the wind falling light and westerly. The Egyptians had a good of Supermoons, who was universally feared as the bringer of hay fever.

Q - What is the best way to view the Supermoon?

A - We normally advise you take a 5" reflecting telescope, and cover the open end with a thick green vinyl filter. Then leave the telescope in the garage, just go outside and have a look at the moon. It should be the big white thing in the sky. Obviously, this implies you're trying to see it at night. It's not so striking during the day.

Q - Shouldn't I wear safety clothing or something?

A - If it makes you feel better, yes.

Q - What about these gravity waves I've heard about?

A - If struck by a gravity wave, just lay on your back and float. If you feel like it's part of a gravity rip tide, swim sideways to get out of the gravity current.

Q -  Do you think it's a good idea to dance around a bonfire naked?

A - Not in your case, no.

1 comment :

  1. ...And when a Supermoon comes right after the Solstice, how does that affect the Moon Gibbon Folk?

    I'm very disappointed by your advice about naked bonfire dancing. That's another Saturday night spoiled.

    AND the nights are drawing in...


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