| Event | St Chasuble's, Icon St | St Luther's, Swinging in the Vineyard | Milk-Depot St Methodist |
| Freestyle Thurifer | 7 - Perfect Figure-eight, maybe a little light on imagination. | 6 - Poorly-executed 360, but extra points for hitting a Churcharden | 3 -They put a spider-plant in the thurible |
| Preaching: Sexual Morality | 4 - Good take-off, but came down heavily on the fence. | 6 - Deducted points for covering the pulpit with spittle. | 9 - Sermon started uncertainly, but came out well in the end. |
| Preaching: Economics | 7 - A working understanding of the subject, good Biblical basis, though inclined to veer to the left. | 5 - Remarkable reverse flip on Biblical infallibility with regard to camels and needles. | 5 - Over-reliance on jumble sales |
| Church-hopping | 7 - New competition record for Swimming the Tiber | 9 - Remarkably quick, although a number of false starts. | 3 - The pews were installed by some of the current congregation's parents. |
| Science quiz | 7 - Good understanding of the processes of combustion (candles, incense, Protestants) | 1 - Under-estimated the age of the universe by 13 bn years | 6 - Failed the "composition of good coffee" question. |
| Liturgical Dance | 10 - Out of the question | 6 - Infrequently, due to suspicion that it might be an occasion of lust. | 10 - Would be too worried about Elsie's hip. |
| Trashing the preacher | 1 - As long as it's less than 5 minutes, it's fine. | 10- lapse into liberalism was dismantled at dinner tables across the town | 7 - He was boring, but he is very nice. |
| Total | 43 | 43 | 43 |
Final Result: All have won, and all shall have prizes.
Why weren't they selling tickets to this?
ReplyDelete