Wednesday 20 August 2014

Inter-Church Summer Olympics

EventSt Chasuble's, Icon StSt Luther's, Swinging in the VineyardMilk-Depot St Methodist
Freestyle Thurifer7 - Perfect Figure-eight, maybe a little light on imagination.6 - Poorly-executed 360, but extra points for hitting a Churcharden3 -They put a spider-plant in the thurible 
Preaching: Sexual Morality4 - Good take-off, but came down heavily on the fence.6 - Deducted points for covering the pulpit with spittle.9 - Sermon started uncertainly, but came out well in the end.
Preaching: Economics7 - A working understanding of the subject, good Biblical basis, though inclined to veer  to the left.5 - Remarkable reverse flip on Biblical infallibility with regard to camels and needles.5 - Over-reliance on jumble sales
Church-hopping7 - New competition record for Swimming the Tiber9 - Remarkably quick, although a number of false starts.3 - The pews were installed by some of the current congregation's parents.
Science quiz7 - Good understanding of the processes of combustion (candles, incense, Protestants)1 - Under-estimated the age of the universe by 13 bn years6 - Failed the "composition of good coffee" question.
Liturgical Dance10 - Out of the question6 - Infrequently, due to suspicion that it might be an occasion of lust.10 - Would be too worried about Elsie's hip.
Trashing the preacher1 - As long as it's less than 5 minutes, it's fine.10- lapse into liberalism was dismantled at dinner tables across the town7 - He was boring, but he is very nice.

Final Result: All have won, and all shall have prizes.

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