Thursday, 12 May 2016

Did you Have PPI?

That's right. The world is full of people who can't remember whether they had PPI. Some people picked it up in an unfortunate sexual encounter in Sutton Coldfield. Others were simply taken in by somebody they met on holiday in Worthing. And until now, there was no diagnostic test for PPI.

But now it's easy. Simply tap yourself on the head with a credit card.

If your cat's eyes glow, you've had PPI.


  1. Hay's dad is not getting scam pre-recorded calls (in an American accent) purporting to be from HMRC and telling them he owes them £3,000 and to phone a number in Manchester.

  2. That's different I get scams saying they owe me money.

  3. Our church gets dozens of emails from distressed officials, widows with twenty-six children, Nigerian or Ghanaian princes-in-exile, all just longing to transfer £millions if we'll only let them have all the bank details anyone might need to empty an account. Considering the parish is chronically running at a loss, financially, I am sometimes tempted to give them their chance. "Dear Friend, feel free to accept our overdraft..."

  4. "If your cat's eyes glow and you haven't got a cat, is that PPI......or is that something else?


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