Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Liturgy for the Loss of the BBC Website Recipes Pages

Archdruid: Nobody knows the sorrow I've seen.

All: Nobody knows but Delia.

Archdruid: How pleasant it is when Beaker Folk live together in harmony.

All: It is like extra-virgin cold-pressed olive oil, drizzled upon Aaron's salad.

Archdruid: Let us say the Misery.

All: Where once we knew where to find the recipes for a complete meal,
Now there is nothing.
I live in a dessert place.
Stir-fried chicken cannot be seen.
Where can I go to find a nice Eggs Florentine?
What is the best method to create a garlic-infused jus?
Where can we get advice from that woman from Luton
With a Yorkshire accent
Who won the Bake-Off?
Surely she has not abandoned us?
Middle-class people wander bereft
Clutching a nice Merlot but knowing not what it goes with.
Where can we find which whisk is which?

Bereft of hope, we wander wearily
And go to JustEat to get a curry in.

Archdruid: The BBC Recipe Website is ended. Go in portions.

All: Fancy a chip?


  1. A little flippant but since we already have our sacrament of bread and wine, can the BBC not recommend a good cheese to go with?

  2. the BBC wouldn't see that as flippant. Instead we'd have Mr(?) Jack Monroe's 'communion service' - 11.5p (exc. wine - trigger warning) with added lentils...


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