Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Evening Service for Yorkshire Day

Hymn: Ilkley Moor Baht 'At

Archdruid: And so we mark the end of this Yorkshire Day by hitting mini Yorkshire Puddings with a stick of rhubarb.

Geoffrey Boycott: My nan could do that.

Archdruid: And release the Scape Whippet.

All: Aah.

Archdruid: Which is full of Yorkshire Sin.

All: Boooo.

Archdruid: Such as mocking the ancient Yorkshire gods, Earnshaw and Sam.

Earnshaw: I'll be shaping up at midnight on Ilkley Moor wi' sensible walking boots.

Archdruid: Or going to London.

Billy Fisher: A man could lose himself in London, Mr Shadrach. Loooooooooose himself.

Ghost of Keith Waterhouse: That'll be £74.22 for royalties.

Reading from the Prophet Bickerdyke

Archdruid: And so as we down our Tetley's Yorkshire Bitter

All: Brewed in Northampton

Archdruid: We remember all the things Yorkshire has given us

All: Poverty, smugness, terrifying women and hopeless blokes who get drunk at the weekend to recover from the awfulness of their daily lives.
A Yorkshire Shrine

Hymn: "Woollen mills of your mind" (Roy Clarke)

Archdruid: And so we push the Oldest Man downhill in a bath tub.

Hnaef: Am I really the oldest?

Archdruid: No. But you really are the most idealistic, which is how we got you in there.

Hnaef: By eck.

The Yorkshire Creed

All: Hear all, see all, say nowt,
Eat all, drink all, pay nowt.
And if ever tha does owt fer nowt
Always do it fer th'sen.

Hymn: Wuthering Heights

1 comment :

  1. Isn't it the lager that's brewed in Northampton, and the bitter in Tadcaster (e.g. this: https://www.ratebeer.com/beer/tetleys-smoothflow--extra-cold-keg/3120/ )?

    Personally I prefer John Smith's (also Tadcaster).


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