Archdruid: And so we mark the end of this Yorkshire Day by hitting mini Yorkshire Puddings with a stick of rhubarb.
Geoffrey Boycott: My nan could do that.
Archdruid: And release the Scape Whippet.
All: Aah.
Archdruid: Which is full of Yorkshire Sin.
All: Boooo.
Archdruid: Such as mocking the ancient Yorkshire gods, Earnshaw and Sam.
Earnshaw: I'll be shaping up at midnight on Ilkley Moor wi' sensible walking boots.
Archdruid: Or going to London.
Billy Fisher: A man could lose himself in London, Mr Shadrach. Loooooooooose himself.
Ghost of Keith Waterhouse: That'll be £74.22 for royalties.
Reading from the Prophet Bickerdyke
Archdruid: And so as we down our Tetley's Yorkshire Bitter
All: Brewed in Northampton
Archdruid: We remember all the things Yorkshire has given us
All: Poverty, smugness, terrifying women and hopeless blokes who get drunk at the weekend to recover from the awfulness of their daily lives.
 |
| A Yorkshire Shrine |
Hymn: "Woollen mills of your mind" (Roy Clarke)
Archdruid: And so we push the Oldest Man downhill in a bath tub.
Hnaef: Am I really the oldest?
Archdruid: No. But you really are the most idealistic, which is how we got you in there.
Hnaef: By eck.
The Yorkshire Creed
All: Hear all, see all, say nowt,
Eat all, drink all, pay nowt.
And if ever tha does owt fer nowt
Always do it fer th'sen.
Hymn: Wuthering Heights
Isn't it the lager that's brewed in Northampton, and the bitter in Tadcaster (e.g. this: https://www.ratebeer.com/beer/tetleys-smoothflow--extra-cold-keg/3120/ )?
ReplyDeletePersonally I prefer John Smith's (also Tadcaster).