Saturday 28 April 2018

A Shocking GDPR Revelation

Young Keith has now finally managed to explain to me that "GDPR" is not a former soviet republic, but instead a regulation on how organisations manage personal data. This being the case it appears that we are an organisation and I am a "Data Controller". Doesn't sound as impressive as Archdruid, but whatever.

So I am hereby letting all Beaker Folk know about the data we hold on them.

You remember all those times we have creatively used a "sin shredder" to represent the way in which are sins are totally forgotten? You may remember the way it did for poor old "Rubbles", the Hamster of Atonement. Well, after the unfortunate incident with Rubbles, we agreed we needed a more creative way to deal with the sins that had been shredded up. One that would not cause an innocent rodent to die terribly.

And so we've been sticking them back together each time. And I now have a comprehensive list of the individual sins of everyone in the Beaker Folk. And that includes you, "Phantom Bogie Flicker". Or as I should now call you, Burton.

You will no doubt be thinking that, in the circumstances, you should go and complain to somebody about this terrible abuse of the information you thought you had been blotted from history. Well, should you do anything like that, be aware that the Avenging Angel (me) will be only too happy to gather from the Recording Angel (Hnaef) exactly why it is you'll wish you had done no such thing.

In the meantime, I am happy to declare that tomorrow is Freewill Offering Day. I'm sure you will be only too pleased to ensure this is the most generous day in the history of this event. Won't you, person who'll be wishing he'd never booked that one-night stay in a Premier Inn in Burnley?

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Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.


  1. I'm still waiting for the email from the Beaker Folk asking me to consent to continuing to receive your drivel in my inbox.

    You have a few more days to do so so that I can make an educated decision whether or not I wish to allow you to retain details of my pseudo identity and to place cookies on my computer. If not, I will just delete you entirely and will never enlighten your pages again.

  2. The most popular mnemonic for remembering note names in the treble clef with my pupils is "Every Green Bogie Deserves Flicking". But only the green ones.


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