A Gong for Europe

We (ie the UK) should take the Eurovision Song Contest seriously, says someone.

Well, far be it from me to dissent from someone I've never heard of, on the subject of a programme I only switch on at the end of the scoring to see what crime against music has won this year.  But let me put it this way. Fr Ted's "My Lovely Horse" is, in my opinion, the mark at which to shoot - not a satire.

My preferred song would be George Galloway endlessly banging a gong with a pool queue, while singing a song calling for the release of Perkin Warbeck. In my opinion it has everything - pointless social worthiness, a regional angle, and a bloke in a cat suit. What's not to like? And, according to electoral law, nobody who wins Eurovision while wearing a suedette outfit is allowed to stand for election in a European metropolis, unless they speak Flemish.

Everyone's a winner. Go on, George. A country needs you. Probably Lithuania.