Saturday, 9 January 2016

Emergency Liturgy for #Primates2016

To be used if required

GAFCON Bishops: Do you solemnly promise not to let gay people do gay things in gay ways, as it is written?

North American Bishops: Certainly not.

Church of England Bishops: We'd rather hoped to avoid the subject. But now you've brought it up - perhaps we could have some extended conversation, bring everyone's views together? Maybe whiteboard a way forward at the next Lambeth?

Liturgy of Walking Out

GAFCON Bishops: Right, we're off then. Thanks for the coffee.

Other Bishops: Bye then. You won't be setting up any rival congregations in our dioceses will you? Ah.

GAFCON Bishops: Hello, Easyjet? We'd like to reschedule some return flights... HOW MUCH???


  1. I thought after the Gafcon question and the American reply, both sides believed they had come to an agreement and they parted peacefully.

  2. I suspect the real meeting will be much longer and more tortuous. Sadly.

  3. All the world's religions seem to thrive on schism. Even atheists, who now have their own church, The Sunday Assembly [I swear I am not making this up], have added greatly to the gaiety of nations by producing their very own schism, resulting from disagreement as to the very definition of atheism: one side believes that an atheist church is one that has no belief in a God; the schismatics think it should be one with a belief in no God.

    At least there's no danger of them burning each other to prove the point - I hope.


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