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Friday, 6 October 2017

A Bad Morning for the Jehovah's Witnesses

They don't come round here much, the Jehovah's Witnesses. But when they do they suffer.

Really bad for them today. Bearing in mind that the Community is made up of many buildings, with many doors, they tend to meet a fair number of Beaker Folk as they try to bring whatever they believe passes for good news.

So today they made the mistake of asking if we wanted any of their material.  Which I responded to by offering to sell them "Writes of the Church" or "The Beaker Common Prayer." Outflanked by this particular piece of cunning, they backed away. And went to the next door along.

Where Burton was just coming out from a few  hours of light bean-counting. When your heart is full of the details of the mis-translation of John Chapter 1 that makes Arianism possible, the last thing you need is a bloke with a degree in train-spotting and an obsession about double entry book-keeping. Apparently, in the event of the End of the World, you will still be able to value your company as a going concern. As long as the End of the World segues neatly into the new one, and your premises and staff have not been consumed in the sulfurous pit.

Next door along is the external door to Charlii and Keith's quarters. Young Keith was busy with house work so Charlii answered the door with Celestine.

So the poor JWs spent ten minutes having explained to them why "Jehovah" is not a valid representation of the Tetragrammaton, formed as it is from the consonants of one Hebrew word and the vowels from another. She's worryingly bright for a toddler, is Celestine.

So calling it a day, they wandered back off down the drive, only to meet Drayton Parslow coming out of the gate of his manse. They asked him whether he had ever thought about whether the latest lot of disasters might herald the end of the world. And he told them the date, the time, the astronomical alignments that would precede it, and his more detailed reflections on what it would feel like to be raptured.

As I say, they don't come round very often. I can see why.


  1. There's a perfectly simple way to prevent attacks of Jehovah'switnessosis. (Apologies if I've posted this before.) Ask them if they've ever read the entire Bible. When, not if, they say no, be able to claim that you have. Yes, even the dietary and hygeine Laws. Even the Apocrypha. Tell them to go away and read it all themselves as they will then be in a proper place to debate about it. Don't hold your breath for their return; admittedly sometimes they field substitutes, but eventually word gets round to avoid the madman/woman in Railway Cuttings.

  2. We used to have a Kingdom Hall nearby,so constantly as the year passed and numerous rejections, we noted that the visits tailed off,until they ceased. We discovered that their ailing congregation was suffering the same way that Churches seem to be - falling attendances, people leaving or no longer being part of their assembly. The Hall was sold and a Sect purchased it. They are a mix of Hinduism, Sikhism and a type of Christianity. They don't knock on doors, but insinuate themselves into community events with helpful smiling faces and tell all and sundry that their is only, one True God, who happens to be the Christian, Islam, Hindu, Sikh and Bhudist God, in different guises. They have instituted a number of events in the temple as they describe their home base and seem genuinely nice and believers. When you did beneath the surface you find that they are funded from India, where they claim to be a mass movement with a Guru (who is the son of the original guru) but is currently under investigation by the Indian Authorities for various crimes,not the least of which are fraud and misrepresentation. The line taken by them is that all true Prophets suffer for their faith? I wonder...... At least if you go to them, you get an excellent Onion Bargee served with non-alcoholic wine.

  3. On one occasion when confronted at the door by JW representatives I thought I would put them off by telling them that I had no wish to change my Faith and that I was a Roman Catholic (which I am). Quick as a flash out came a book on Catholicism. When I looked at it later I saw that it contained many erroneous statements. I got the impression that whatever religion I had said I belonged to they would have produced a booklet on it.
    Next time they call I shall be tempted to say I am one of the Beaker Folk and see what they say to that.

  4. As a follow up.This morning during a prayer walk, we encountered some Witnesses outside the local Coop Store, 50 yards from a weekly prayer station set up by the local Baptist Church. The Baptists are well known, local people and people stopped to chat and asked for prayers. The Witnesses were ignored. We at least greeted them with a cheery good morning. We thought of offering prayers for them, but they might have taken that as being a bit cheeky.

    Within an hour,as we returned past their pitch, they had up sticks and gone, while the Baptist prayer stand still had people stopping to chat.

    Not sure what sort of message that this sends, but perhaps the familiar is preferable to the unknown, represented by the Witnesses.

    Perhaps a lesson for us in our welcome for the unknown person who creeps into church to sit at the back, wanting to worship without notice. A matter of judgement for our Welcome Team? Wait and see whether they seem receptive to welcome or not?


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