Want to support this blog?

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

Friday, 13 October 2017

Where the Wild Stuff Is

Scientists announce they have discovered half the missing mass of the universe.

A great achievement.

In late news, the remaining missing mass has been identified as:

  • Odd socks
  • Biros (thank you Douglas Adams)
  • Reading glasses
  • Fluff left in the bath
  • Alternative Service Books "just in case"
  • Brexiteers' Hopes
  • 20p pieces down the sofa
  • Jeremy Corbyn's home-made jam
  • Euro 96 caps
  • Garlic that's 12 months out of date in the fridge
  • Failed Brexit strategies
  • Old service sheets nobody could get round to throwing away
  • Arsene Wenger's unsigned resignation letters
  • The brushings from hipsters' beards
  • Cat fur shed on people's sweaters
  • Unwanted keyrings
  • Dork matter
  • Crusty bits off cheese
  • Unread books by Richard Dawkins
  • Unread poems by Rowan Williams


  1. The lead researcher said: "Sorry, it was in my other trousers all the time..."

  2. the missing mass in our church is at 8am this week ;)

  3. You might add the alleged 450 million of old pound coins still in circulation.


Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl