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Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

Sunday, 22 October 2017

Lament for the Liverpool FC Defence

Great is the mourning on the Walton Breck Road
A lament arises from Bootle.

The Liverpool Back 4 lies in ruins
The gegenpress is broken down.

The Heavy Metal football is rusted
and we are below Watford. Watford.

The centre backs miss their headers
and the goalie can't come for crosses.

Confused, he flaps at the ball
and wonders where it went.

And where are the heroes of old?
Who could clean the boots of Alan Hansen?

Who has the venom of Tommy Smith?
The fire of Emlyn Hughes?

The commitment of Carragher?
The intelligence of Hyypia?

The bigness of Big Ron Yeats
Even the comedy value of Djimi Traore?

Bereft, Coutinho dreams of Barcelona
Sturridge wonders if that was a twinge he felt in his ankle.

Can longs for his free transfer
But he'll be lucky if Bungay Town would have him at this rate.

In vain we wait for the circling year
to bring round another transfer window.

Let these defensive clowns be gone
and let others take their place.

I mean.

Looking for  a Christmas present for the churchgoer in your life? Or are you in need of a book to make you laugh at and think about the church? Well you probably need "Writes of the Church  -  Gripes and Grumbles of People in the Pews" - a perfect stocking filler.  From Amazon, BRF and good Christian bookshops.
A queue of people at the vicarage door, holding letters. The vicar is hiding behind the curtains.
Writes of the Church - On sale now and perfect for Christmas

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