Want to support this blog?

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

Thursday, 12 October 2017

Christmas is Organised

The nights are drawing in. And so we thought we'd better get the Christmas services organised.

Well, not organised. That would imply a top-down, hierarchical approach. Instead, we have spent the evening thrashing out the governance needed to manage the various strands of the Christmas experience.

I should point out that this chart does not cover Christmas festivities of a non-worship-related nature - including the Yule Feast, Wassail, Xmas Dinner. Nor the Solstice activities, which mostly consist of standing in the cold and dark and wishing the sky were clear and we knew which way was south-east.

But for worship-related activities, this is the structure.

You need to click on the diagram to get the full beauty of the committee structure.  But to summarise the roles of each entity:

Druidic Synod: Now, we're a very bottom-up kind of organisation. Which is why it's really important, with all those grass roots, that we have a strong committee at the top to do the weeding.

Moot: The Moot is the meeting of elected Beaker representatives. They think they're in charge. But they're wrong.

Xmas Subcommittee: Strictly speaking, the subcommittee responsible for all of Christmas, except the social stuff. And the Solstice. And anything with "Yule" in the title. And the Nativity.

Carol Service Subcommittee: The Carol Service has exactly the same format every year. All this group needs to do is get hold of last year's flyers and service sheets, and tweak the dates. How they need to meet 24 times a year to achieve this is beyond any of us. 

Christingle Subcommittee (and its sub-subcommittees): All about answering the important questions. What order of service shall we use? How do we ensure nobody catches fire? Can you get those sweets all year round or only at Christmas? And shall we over-order oranges like last year, or massively under-order like the year before?

Adult Xmas Co-ordinator: Has the job of ensuring that adults aren't left out. Generally involves sherry.

New Year's Eve Planning Group: I have no idea what they do. New Year's Eve is the same date every year. And we don't have a party.

Beaker Quire: Although not strictly a Christmas group, they get really annoyed if we forget about them. So they manage their own "stream" of Christmassyness, cutting across the other Christmas-related activities, and let us all know what they're up to.

Nativity Subcommittee: Responsible for co-ordinating all Nativity preparation and rehearsals.

Donkey Subcommittee: Responsible for finding a donkey, or else two people prepared to share a donkey costume

Mary & Joseph Subcommittee: Joseph slouches and Mary has an accent so London you'd never believe she's the Mother of God. So they need a lot of coaching.

Angel Subcommittee: Unfortunately rather than being a harmonious heavenly choir, the Angels have broken up into rival groups according to self-styled rank. In vain the firstborn cherub tries to keep the others under control. So they have strictly separate rehearsals, coming together in chaos for the big day.

Miscellaneous Characters Break-out Group: This is where the more forgotten of the Nativity characters get together to sulk that they've not been chosen to be Mary or Joseph. They mostly just mutter "at least I don't slouch." The shepherds' collective has been known to walk out just for having to sit on a hillside.

Evangelist for Xmas: Not many people are aware of what Christmas is, or how to relate to it. Some people might just let it slip past without even noticing it. Sponsored by John Lewis, our Evangelist for Xmas ensures we all know it involves abseiling pandas, parachuting foxes, irritating badgers and a terrier called Phil.

Xmas Co-ordinator: Reports to the Moot on all Xmas-related activities. Tries to get them into a semblance of order, so the Beer and Carols doesn't happen at the same time as the "Advent Calendar on Stilts" and the first viewing of the John Lewis ad. Then discovers they're uncontrollable and goes off to sob in a corner.

Xmas Druid: Wears a red suit and big white beard, and says "ho ho ho" a lot. Asks us to call him Nick.

So you can see - we've got Christmas governance well and truly under control. In fact, we reckon we can get one organised by 2019 at the latest.

1 comment :

  1. Ireally shouldn't have read this immediately after a staff meeting to plan Christmas services across our three parishes. All too familiar!


Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl