Archdruid: Hurrah! It's Vernal Equinox. We're gonna get out there in Big Meadow, dance around the reinforced-concrete stone circle, and celebrate.
All: But it's a bit cold.
Archdruid: Then wear coats.
All: But it might rain.
Archdruid: Then wear flat caps. Grant Shapps would approve.
All: But it's getting dark.
Archdruid: Precisely. It's the equinox - so the sun is still setting before dinner-time. This is the ceremony where we encourage it to stay up later, through the encouragement of tea lights.
All: But it's quite windy.
Archdruid: Then put your tea lights in the lanterns provided. Genuine horn, them lanterns.
All: But it's really windy.
Archdruid: Then turn your backs to the wind.
All: But it's really, really windy.
Archdruid: Then tie yourselves down.
All: Can we just have our worship in the Moot House?
Archdruid: Nesh, you lot. Nesh.
All: But there could be an owl, or a badger, out there.
Archdruid: Mm. Yeah. Hadn't thought of that.
All: And it's warm, dry, windproof and well-lit and badger-proof, is the Moot House.
Archdruid: Oh, all right then. Just those once, mind.