If Matthew Hopkins did Thought for the Day

In this multicultural world we live in, people look for truth in many ways. Some look for healing using crystals. Some look to the old gods of the forests of England. Some speak in metaphors, of Diana, Apollo and Dionysus.

It really tells us that people are looking for spiritual reality wherever they can find it - whether in the ancient myths, or in the ancient sites - stones and barrows - of modern England. But how can we of the mainstream churches best respond, so that we can learn from each other?

I think that,  in a very real sense, we need to approach people

Matthew Hopkins lives in the East of England.
He likes being paid large amounts of money,
and looking for extra nipples.

following these new ways with care, and a willingness to listen.  We don't believe in rushing in and burning them as witches!  Oh no, not these days.

No, first we have to hear their confessions. This is a valuable exercise, as we may be able to find out who their fellow-witches are. Then, only if they won't confess, do we duck them. And, if they're guilty - and they are, let's face it - even then we don't burn them.  This isn't the middle ages. No, we hang them first. Then we burn them. We're not savages.

I really see this as a most exciting new endeavour in inter-faith dialogue. And I'm going to be moving the agenda forwards just as soon as we've tried John Humphreys for witchcraft.  He has an infernal machine that means you can talk to people all over the country. In fact a disembodied voice in my ear - a devilish voice, I suspect - is telling me they've tricked me into speaking on it now. It would appear that I am surrounded by witches.

Radio Four, ye are all nicked.  Stearne, hail a fleet of ye magic black horseless taxis. I want them at Tyburn this hour.