After my last bulletin, in which I suggested that choir masters have come from the infernal regions and the best way to deal with choirs is to fill their robes with helium so they float off, I have received a veritable flood of complaint. It comes, surprisingly enough, from a Mrs Trellis of North Wales. She writes:
"Dear Rowan.
I notice that you suggest that choir masters have come from the infernal regions and the best way to deal with choirs is to fill their robes with helium so they float off. This is outrageous.
Given the relative densities of helium and nitrogen, and the average size of a chorister relative to their robes, there is no way you could get them off the ground.
Yours faithfully
Mrs Trellis."
I am a bit worried about your ability to calculate.
ReplyDeleteYour 'flood of complaints' turns out to be one, only from North Wales?
While I appreciate that being Beaker Folk is quite a lonely and insular state to be in (especially as Secularists appear to be leaving you alone) surely you must have more than one or two readers, prepared to complain to you.
Firstly, since your sole complaint is from North Wales, I suspect that they must have been bored with counting sheep, therefore, under reacted to your post.
I in fact rang the UFO Help Line at the MOD to inquire about the airborne Chorus, but found that they have discontinued the service, on the grounds of cost. They suggested that I call the Royal College of Quire Music but they do not appear to be in the phone book.
So, if anyone sees and airborne Quire, perhaps they will have to resort to the time honoured Royal Sport of Shooting to bring them down.
Dear Archdruid,
ReplyDeletemy head is spinning from all these allusions.
Cheerfully ,