An outbreak of Pelagianism

I'm afraid to report that we have had a few reported cases of the new outbreak of Pelagianism.

Please can Beaker Folk please take the normal precautions:

• The "embarrassing hug of peace" will be suspended until things are back to normal.
• Avoid the sharing of tea lights.
• Pebbles must be soaked in surgical spirit before being re-used. Anyone caught sucking the tea lights before they have dried out will get a week in the doily mines.

A note regarding those members of the community who caught last season's ArM1 outbreak of Arminianism. The good news is that exposure to Arminianism has left this population with a residual immunity. We are not expecting anyone in this cohort to develop fully-blown free-will. Although of course it's up to them whether they do or not.  However they are still liable to develop some of the symptoms, in what is technically known as Semi-Pelagianism. The good news is that you can get a cream for that.