Such an auspicious year as 2011 is! although, "auspicious" being related to the pagan concept of "auspices", I may instead use the word "significant". The 400th Anniversary of the Good Book finally reaching its state of perfect inspiration. Fowre thowsand wynter, as Eileen insists on singing every Christmas Eve, Adam lay i-bowndyn, awaiting Gospel light. And then another sixteen hundred winters did this planet wait for it to be translated properly. So the people struggled with Greek, with Aramaic and Hebrew, with Syriac, with inferior English translations and - for many - even with L***n.
But I am aware that, even in the printing of the Authorised (or King James) Version of the Bible, human sin crept in. Not into that flawless book itself, despite one notable lapse in the Book of Ruth - but rather in those human and fallen souls that printed it. This work of the sublimest of all written works, the actual words of God himself, resulted in court cases as the printers sued each other for the dirty profits of what should have been their noblest aspiration and deepest joy.
And likewise, truly human ways can impact even on the noblest of Christian endeavour, as I discovered when I had to leave Frisby Baptist Church after a theological slip-up regarding the species of the hart " that panteth after water brooks". And so it became clear to me that what we at the Bogwulf Funambulist Baptists church need, is a constitution. One that is godly, one that is holy, one that is clear. And one that prevents me getting the sack at ten minutes' notice.
And so I spent the early hours of this morning - from 3 until 7 - in sketching out some notes. Among the rules I am proposing is that for the pastor to be ejected from his post should require a two-thirds majority of the congregation. If a simple majority votes for his removal, then the Church Meeting should vote again after a one-month period of consideration and prayer Which at least gives him time to try and find another job. I am also suggesting that, in the event of any dispute between the pastor and the congregation that cannot be resolved, the matter be referred to an "expert panel", consisting of the Principal, Vice-Principal and Bible Studies tutor at my old Bible College, the Hope Springs Bible College of Mid-Cardiganshire. I feel they should be suitably neutral.
And at 7am, thoughts in order, it was with joy in my heart that I phoned Norman, one of the Deacons, and wished him a good morning, Happy and Blessed New Year and a fulfilling 400th Anniversary of the Authorised Version.
I have to say that I have rarely heard a better fulfilment of Psalm 27:14. And some words that I didn't imagine a Church Elder would know. It is my suspicion, although I have no evidence, that Norman may have celebrated the New Year with rather more sherry trifle last night than was strictly in keeping with a godly temperament.
On the other hand, maybe I should look in a more charitable light. Maybe Norman, like myself, was disturbed by late-night revelry. Although in my case "revelry" is possibly the wrong word. Rather, I was awoken after midnight by the sound of Young Keith jumping out of an oak tree. Or rather it was his screams when he realised that, although the Archdruid had arranged for a parachute for him to jump into, it had been simply left laying on the ground while the other Beaker People had gone off to look at a particularly interesting owl.
I shall phone Norman later, when I hope he will be in a more sober and godly state of mind. And in the meantime I shall write a new set of clauses - on the removal of intemperate Church Elders.
Dear Revd Parslow,
ReplyDeleteHow wise!
I think you will discover that two-thirds-plus-one is the oft-used Baptist minimum for such a vote with 90% not uncommon.
I think also you need a clear clause banning the appointment of Life Deacons who can be the scourge of many an otherwise fine Baptist Church.
That and a strict prohibition of sherry trifle.
Catriona
ReplyDeleteI thank you.
The Frisby Baptists were very strict on the 50% (+ 1, of course) rule. They felt this kept them in a position of power over their pastor. However, the two-thirds rule on the appointment of new pastors meant that the previous pastors frequently had a blocking minority, which explains their relatively few pastors over the years. This may or may not be why their numbers have always relatively healthy.
The Funambulist Baptists, on the other hand, currently have only one way of removing the pastor - when he is unable any more to walk along a 50 feet tight-rope.
I am working to remove this rule. It seems to me in this day and age that it would discriminate against people with certain disabilities. And when it is time for me to move on,the church must be able to elect the new pastor regardless of age, disability or ethnicity - ensuring they have the best divinely -appointed married man for the job.