Monday 9 May 2011

Academies

The Archdruid has once again asked me to consider alternative sources of revenue, and I think I've found a good one. I'm greatly indebted to the Bishop of Oxford for this one (or, more accurately, the Bishop of Oxford as misquoted in the Independent) . Yes, it's Academies.

According to the Oxdependent, 70% of Church Schools will become Academies by 22nd May (assuming the world hasn't ended: see prophecies passim). If the CofE can do it, then why can't we? Surely the strong moral values (excepting the tribalsm, violence and Moon Gibbons, obviously) espoused by the Beaker Folk would provide the perfect framework for education of our (but mainly other people's) children?

Some might say that Husborne Crawley already has a school. So what, we say : competition is always good (according to Saint David of Cameron). And there seems to be money to be made, for a relatively small initial outlay.

Staffing is easy: the Archdruid as Chair of Governors, Directors or whatever; sport: me (in hiking boots); IT: Young Keith; English Lit & Lang: me; Scouse Lang (no Lit): Mrs Hnaef; œconimics (sic): Burton; theology, social studies, evolution, science and End of the World Studies : Drayton (he seems very, very keen).

The only remaining issue is the name. So far we've had suggested: "Little Pebbles" (we're not a nursery for Mick & Keith's grandkids); "Tea lights 'R's us" (I predict law suits); "Druids do it with sickles" (no, just no) and "The You Know Where You Are With A Beaker Academy" (my personal favourite). I'm open to suggestions.
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1 comment :

  1. I'm sure that Prof Brian Cox would come along and teach something - or at least appear backlit on the publicity brochures.

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