The truth is out there

Another day, another set of insights into what passes for the collective human psyche. It seems to have been mostly a day of bizarre conspiracy theories. Conspiracy theorists depend upon pulling out the minutest threads of what I shall call, for want of a better word, "the truth", while ignoring holes the size of elephants in what the conspiracy theorist believes "really" happened. The great advantage of conspiracy theories is that they are so far from the truth that in fact normal standards of evidence cannot be applied.

Rodrick's theory is that Osama Bin Laden has been dead since 2001, but kept on ice ever since for no apparent reason. Then this week, realising that it won't be long till the presidential elections, Barack Obama had him removed from deep freeze and buried in a patch of Kenyan desert conveniently just down the road from where Barack Obama himself was born. The White House aren't really wondering about the wisdom of releasing photos of the dead Osama Bin Laden - in fact, they've got a crack team of Photoshoppers trying to come up with a realistic photo. And despite the fact that Osama was frozen under a Republican government, they can't point out that Osama was dead all along and Obama is making it all up, because the Republicans have all had their brains re-programmed by aliens from the Orion Nebula who look like Russell Grant. Mind, the last bit sounds plausible when you see the Tea Party.

But then, according to the Daily Mail, Osama was shot when waving an AK47 around with one hand, while holding his wife - who was shot dead - as a human shield. Which seems to be slightly contradicted by the report from the BBC, saying that Osama was unarmed, and his wife - who was not used as a human shield - was shot but not killed.  How threatening an unarmed man in his fifties with a serious kidney complaint can be to a crack group of highly-armed and trained special forces is yet to be determined.

In the end, it's hard to know who to believe. After all, a Jordanian tourist website has gone into great detail on the Royal Couple's planned honeymoon there. Which is quite exciting since they are simultaneously in Anglesey.  Although apparently they may instead go to Kenya - but have postponed since they were warned about the Osama execution. Shame, as apparently they were quite looking forward to seeing the place in the desert where they filmed the moon landings.

Anyway, I've got to get back to sorting out the hoovering of the Lee Harvey Oswald suite. Shame that Mr Oswald died last year (we buried him in a patch of Kenyan desert - it's what he would have wanted) but we need to get the place cleaned up and some new medical equipment installed. Mr Presley's not getting any younger, and he needs special care these days.