Monday 9 May 2011

The end of the World continued

It's a slight irony. I thought I'd have a quick look round the EBible Fellowship's website. Remembering that these are the guys that think the Rapture will happen on the 21st with the End of the World as we Know it in October. And what did I find?

They have a page for ordering tracts. And, obviously, I thought I'd better check the lead times. After all, no point in ordering a tract if it's going to be all over before it arrives. Let's face it, come the Rapture I might just be sitting on a cloud watching. And then I'd just be wasting everyone's time. And what message do I read?

"As mailing any substantial quantity of these tracts is expensive... "

Why do they care? Surely with only 3 weeks till the Rapture, the last thing they're going to care about is the expense. Sell your houses, eBible Fellowship people - it's all going to help. Didn't you know there's only three weeks till the Rapture?

"We ask you only make a request for free tracts once every 2 weeks" 

But it's 9 May. And the Rapture is going to happen on 21 May. Frankly if I limit myself to a request for free tracts, I'm only going to order... erm... once. And what chance have I got of getting all the Beaker People converted before the rapture then? Especially with lead times and all. I'll have about 20 minutes, and then no more leaflets. I'll wish we'd all been ready.

Still, I'm interest to see they haven't even bothered taking leaflets or posters to France. At least they know their chances in each target market.

They also advertise "hundreds of hours" of listening on the site. Bad news. I'm running out of those hundreds of hours - there's only about 300 left - and I wouldn't want to go without sleep before the Rapture. As Douglas Adams might say, I'd be all grumpy and wouldn't appreciate it.

To be fair to them, though, they are completely consistent. I note that the Schedule for their Caravan of the Apocalypse finishes on 20 May. No sneaky planning what to do the day after. Although they end up in Pennsylvania - that renowned Quaker state. Don't know what hearing they'll get.  And I wonder if they'll let Drayton have it after that? He could do with a cheap holiday. Still, according to their calendar they got their car serviced earlier in the month. Good idea, that. Prolongs... ermm.. vehicle life.

So I'm left thoroughly ambivalent here. Is this a serious, but deluded (and badly innumerate) group? Or are they a fake religious fellowship, merely the fevered product of a cynical and satirical Episcopalian priest's mind? I have my doubts.

No comments :

Post a Comment

Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl