It's been quite a strange day. I've made some discoveries, and I'm shocked and stunned. To put it briefly, it turns out that some Beaker folk - and even quite senior ones - are members of a little-known society called "The Church of England". And it seems that, even though these "Anglicans" are few in number, they've riddled English society. There's barely a community in the country without one of their secret meeting places. And yet so few know what their rituals actually comprise.
So I've been doing my best to find out what goes on in "The Church of England". Apparently, every Sunday small groups of people meet in special buildings and take part in unusual rituals. I'm not clear on how they keep other interested parties out - attendance seems to be by invitation only - but I reckon they have subtle methods for deterring undesirable outsiders. Some of them wear unusual clothes - for example it is not uncommon to find men wearing colourful dress-like garments, while old ladies are encouraged, for reasons I can't fathom, to wear dead animals on their heads.
I've referred to the men in strange clothing. What seems very sinister is that women are actually forbidden from the highest levels of the "Church of England" - and yet those men (and women) achieving a certain level of seniority have to go through a ritual at which they swear allegiance to a shadowy figure known as "The Queen". Their other suspicious activities are the belief in some kind of a Supreme Being, and the ritual eating of special food (quiche, crudités, instant coffee - odd stuff like that). The coffee is consumed from ancient ritual drinking vessels, bearing the name "Beryl" on their undersides.
I got my hands on a copy of the book containing the formulation of the Church's beliefs - the "Book of Common Prayer" and had a read through. I could understand about one word in eight in there and had to get Drayton to translate for me. But it seems that according to the "39 Articles", Catholicism, Anabaptism and Congregationalism are all wrong and dangerous to the soul. And yet if you ask the average "Anglican" in the street, he (or more likely she) will tell you that in fact they've got nothing against Catholics, Baptists or members of the URC. What are they trying to hide?
I'm sure that if you were to come along to one of our so-called, secret meetings in one of our secret meeting places, incidentally, called Churches on any Sunday, we could induct you into our society. There is no annual subscription, only a voluntary donation, called a 'collection' which you are 'offered' the opportunity to participate in during 'The Offertry' part of the ritual, incidentally, called 'Holy Communion' or 'The Eucharist' or in some more extreme branches 'The Mass'.
ReplyDeleteYou have the opportunity to 'sing for your supper' in the form of worship songs called Hymns, three or four times during the service.
You are also, once inducted through a ritual called Baptism and another called Confirmation to eat bread and drink wine (without charge) with us in the actual Holy Communion part of the service.
During the service we also read ancient stories to you, provide a life enhancing and thought provoking talk of some aspect of the stories being read and also allow you to great your neighbors around you with hand shakes, hugs and kisses (if that is your preference).
Lots of other stuff goes on, and in these more liberal times, we actually meet and talk to Catholics,Baptists and members of the URC and it has been known for them to be included in services called 'Ecumenical'.
The point of this is about Worship of the supreme, omnipotent being called God. He or she (equality respected) is the person who was, is, and always will be, there as our creator. He or she, sent their Spirit down to the troublesome world 2000+ years ago, and was incarnate of a young virgin called Mary. A son was born of this relationship called Jesus.
Jesus grew up to be a teacher, minister, high priest. He did many miracles, healing the sick and generally saving the souls of all mankind, before some very unkind people of a sect called Judaism, aided and abbeted by the Roman Empire, killed him by nailing him to a tree and sticking a spear into his side. But that wasn't the end of the story. Jesus rose from the dead 3 days later and ascended to heaven. He sent the Spirit (called the Holy Spirit) to his followers called the Apostles at Whitsun, known to the Sect, afterwards called Christians and they were transformed into teachers and leaders. Before he died, Jesus instituted the sharing of bread and wine at his last supper and urged his apostles to continue to eat bread and wine (mystically transformed into his flesh and blood) to commemorate him.
The sect became known as Christians as they were followers of Jesus 'The Christ' meaning savior or redeemer.
Jesus promised that all of those who followed him and behaved themselves and did good work for others unselfishly, would join him with his father/mother in his new Kingdom, shared here on earth in life and be transformed in new life in his kindom after death.
The other sects called Catholics, Baptists and URC believe and practice similar things, but in a different way.
to be continued:
Part two:
ReplyDeleteThe Church (or sect) is known as the Church of England or (CofE) or The Church of God, was originally part of the Roman Catholic Church, but broke away when an old English King called Henry, decided he wanted no truck with an Italian geezer called 'The Pope' who said he was the boss, and would not allow Henry to get rid of his spouse(s) when they could not give him a son. This is why the mysterious person called 'The Queen, who currently runs the country (using some geezers called the Government to help out) is the 'Supreme Governer' of the Church of England, rather then some foreigner living in Rome.
The people who you say dress up for these rituals are called Priests. They are chosen to be representative leaders and are Ordained for their role. There are several tiers of management above them, currently only men, who wear bigger and more glitzy frocks and pointy hats and have Shepherds Crooks (known as Croziers) to mark their status as being preferred as leaders to any of the other Priests.
The only requirement of you, if you chose to join permanently is to believe that the supreme being, known as God is there, is real and exists and loves us. An add on is that you are also expected to love (in a brotherly way) all of your neighbors. Loving them in a physical, carnal, way is frowned upon.
As the meerkat says, 'simple'. Oh, by the way, it helps if you are also a Freemason. But that's another story.
Thanks for the clarification, Anonymous. Are we to read anything into your anonymity?
ReplyDeleteI applied to be a Flying Bishop, but as I did not have the right kind of 'Sky Pilot's' license, I was turned down. Then I found out you have to be a Mason too be a Bishop.
ReplyDeleteTurned me off the whole idea!