On praying for football results

It's one of those eternal considerations among believing sports-people - which side will God favour if both teams are prayed for by their supporters?

And among thinking atheists, of course, the answer will always be "neither, as God doesn't exist". To which I will refer you to the fact that Brazil, a country with a large Catholic majority (and a rapidly-growing Pentecostal church movement) has won the World Cup 5 times. While North Korea, China, the old USSR and Vietnam, countries which were or are either officially atheist or have had restrictions on the practice of religion, have won exactly no World Cups between them. There you go, Karl Marx - the proletariat perform much better when they can believe what they like and have good coffee.

But if all the Beaker Folk are praying for Barcelona to win tonight, and Phil Ritchie is praying for Manchester United, how can we say which way the Almighty will go? Obviously, he will in normal circumstances back the underdog and natural-born loser - for that is his way - but Charlton Athletic aren't involved. The sophisticated types will say that God has other things to worry about than football, that he loves all footballers equally, that he won't be swayed by either side if both pray equally  - and that therefore he will ineffably let one team or the other win, without getting much involved. We would recommend that Canon Ritchie and his Man Utd fellow-travellers adopt the sophisticated approach. Which means that they need not pray at all, or should pray only for an entertaining  game. God doesn't need all that bothering about football.

Meanwhile we'll pray for Liverpool's superior European record to continue to be just as superior as it currently is, for one more season at least. God must love Liverpool fans. As if he didn't he probably wouldn't make us suffer so much.