"Hello? Higgs - it's me. Remember me? Your wife? The quark you married? I know we've had our ups and downs, but you still promised - "till the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics do us part".
You've not phoned home for three days. I know you're busy being "elusive" with your science friends, but all this fame's turned your head.
I'm sick to death of it. Just because you're the source of all the mass in the known cosmos, you think the Universe revolves around you. Well it doesn't.
Actually, yes it does. But that's not the point. Just phone home. And don't go running after any strange women."
She's obviously not got the charm to get to the top. But she has got to the bottom of the problem. So I think her name must be "b".
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