Monday 25 December 2017

A Female Doctor: Everything Has Changed

And so one more bastion has fallen. There have been women as Prime Minister, bishops in the Church of England (even if they have not been to a proper theological college) and now Doctor Who. It seems only leader of the Labour Party is left unfeminised.

But what difference does it make having a woman play The Doctor? We have the answers:

We know The Doctor has two hearts, but what difference will one with two "X" chromosomes make?

Absolutely none. The Doctor is a bloody alien. Do you actually know what it is in the Doctor's make up that makes him male? Maybe only River knows. And she ain't singing.

Will the Doctor be viewed differently as a woman?

Yeah. When the Daleks are next planning to conquer the universe, Jodie Whittaker's marginally -improved abilities to ask directions when winding up on the wrong planet are gonna make them think twice. Her being slightly worse at arm-wrestling than Matt Smith is not going to bother aliens capable of making planets cease to exist simply by their power of thought.

Will any future Doctors be real Doctors?

No. The presence of one Doctor in the timeline who knows how to describe a colour that's not quite red,  more of a cerise, has ruined the credentials of the lot. Any Doctor regenerating from Jodie Whittaker is going to be incurably infected with cooties. Some people have declared the only True Doctor now has arisen from the regeneration of Pope Pius XII. This medevacantism recognises two divergent timestreams, in accordance with the concept of a "Pooliverse" as first expounded by the Perishers. Or something.

Won't her Tardis-Driving be worse now she's a woman?

Did the Doctor bring you back from the Pleistocene?

When the Doctor is involved in sexual tension with much-younger companions, isn't that going to be worrying?

Dunno. Has it worried you up to now?

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From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.


  1. Female Doctor? Welcome to the 20th Century,

  2. The thing about the time lord(lady) is that you never actually know what century (or time zone) she/he is or was in.

    21st Century Doctors are a bit like the 20th century Sherlock, a fantasy, built on a dream and a fictional future - just like Brexit

  3. Don't forget how to escape if you ever meet a dalek - just walk upstairs!


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