Sunday 10 December 2017

English Church in the Snow.... The Summary

People: Wow! Snow!

People in Villages: Better wrap up. Wonder where the vicar is?

Suburban / City Centre Gathered Evangelical Churches:  Service off due to snow.

The Organist: Can we not sing anything in Eb? The pedal sticks in cold weather.

Elderly female Methodists: Best stick an extra dead cat on my head.

 4x4-owning Churchgoers who live in Chelsea: Best not risk it. There might be a flake at some point.

Husborne Crawley Church in the snow
"Forget the service - let's just look at the church"

Anglo Catholics: Yeah, still on. We've borrowed an organist.

 People who normally try not to mention how few people come to their church: "Four people at church this morning!"

People who live near their churches: What's the matter with you people that don't get to church?

Churchwardens Everywhere: The oil-powered boiler cannae take it, Reverend.

Facebook: Pictures of the Church in the snow.

People in Newcastle: Might put on another layer. Nah. The Sunday vest should be enough.

Major James Dumpling of Little Tremlett: Maybe an extra tot before I set out.

People in Scotland: Sorry, what's all the excitement?

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. And don't forget it's nearly Christmas!


  1. Photo of snow-covered St Mary's Bampton on Facebook. Could almost be a film set...

  2. Yup, this pretty accurately describes the situation round here today. Some of the town churches were shut, but our village church held 8am and 10.30am Holy Communion.

  3. We flew back from Lanzarote yesterday to find that reports of England's snowbound condition much exaggerated. We touched down at Liverpool ahead of schedule.

    Re putting on an extra layer: the Venezualan fro whom we hired bicycles for the week, showed me that he was wearing two tee-shirts because Lanzarote is so cold compared with home!


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