Thursday 7 December 2017

Judgement and Cold Turkey

Marston's just got in from a long night's judgement.

He's really got carried away this year. I know Donald Trump claims to have reinstated Christmas bigger and better than ever before. But this just outraged Marston Moretaine, who wanted to know when the US President will be bringing back Advent.

Since Advent is a time of sober, reflective self-examination, the answer is clearly "never". But that's not stopping Marston from going to all places Christmassy and threatening them with terrible judgement from on high.

Though he's not managed to explain to me how, if all Christmassy activities are banned before sunset on the 24th, he is planning to do his own Christmas shopping. But still, he's been out all night in Milton Keynes at some nightclub, shouting that they should be repenting, not dancing. Ironically it sounds like it was just him and the staff. Well, it's Wednesday. They're probably just glad he had to buy bottled water for his throat now and then.

So he's back now. He'll grab a couple of hours sleep and then he'll be off to denounce people in the " Mall, Luton ". Like coming from Luton ain't bad enough already.

But we've left him some food on a plate in the fridge. Cold turkey, roasties and sprouts. Well, it was the Druids' Christmas Dinner last night. Wouldn't want him to miss out.

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. And don't forget it's nearly Christmas!

1 comment :

  1. The trouble with judgement is that you're condemning people for your own sins. Guilt is central to those who judge others, not doing confession in a real way, and they seek absolution through condemning others. Not sure that it gets them into heaven any quicker - might in fact send them down the ladder to Hades, where they seem to believe everyone, but themselves are heading.


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