Saturday 9 December 2017

Scapegoat of the Year 2017

It's that time of year when we get in early with the Beaker Scapegoat of the Year award, before all the other things of the year. Except Time's Person (Not Donald Trump) of the Year.

Clearly, DT himself is a prime candidate for Scapegoat of the Year. These days, when Beaker parents want their little Beaker children to be home before dark, they tell them that if it gets too late, Donald Trump will get them. But, despite his track record of causing chaos in the Middle East, oppressing black people, encouraging gun culture and generally being a grade "A" Assange, he has at least succeeded in uniting everybody else against him.

Which brings us to the Three Brexiteers and Maytagnan. Which of this sorry shower would we make the Scapegoat? David Davis, incompetent and unrepentant in equal measures? Boris Johnson, who would have campaigned for Remain if Cameron had wanted Leave, and who has brought settling old public school scores up to an international sport after its 100 year hiatus? Or the other one with the friend who attends meetings with him for no obvious reason? Of Theresa May herself - we can't make her the Scapegoat of the Year because, against all the track record and defiance of the more rabid of her party, she seems to have realised that the best bet is to capitulate to Europe and deliver a Brexit that is as near to staying in the EU, but without any say, as is possible. Which is probably the best bet in the circumstances.

In the footballing world, Sir Alex Ferguson has retired and Luis Suarez plies his trade in Spain. So they're in the clear. Roy Hodgson is always a good candidate, but he's not really done anything much lately. You what, Hnaef? Crystal Palace? Yeah, like I said.

Last year's Scapegoat was the year itself. But you can only pull that trick once.

And so we get to the world of entertainment. But we're skipping around a lot of people who may well deserve to be scapegoats, but who knows what criminal trials we might be accidentally interfering with? So let's not. But this year's Scapegoat of the the Year is from the world of entertainment.

Or was. He died this year.  And when he did, his Wikipedia entry was updated very rapidly, in extravagant style. It's calmer again now. A  bit.

So, for the Beaker Scapegoat of the Year, we're anointing Norman Clegg from Last of the Summer Wine. Beneath that plastic mac, mild manner and searing wit, turns out he was a right one. Who knows what else he was to blame for?
Clegg, Compo, Foggy with recorders
Not to be trusted

So arise (at the end of time) Norman Clegg. If we make you Scapegoat of the Year now, maybe it will save you trouble later. 

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. And don't forget it's nearly Christmas!

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