Friday 22 December 2017

The Past is a Different Country. Who'd Want to Go There?

On this glorious Iconic Britain Day, when we get back a passport colour that nobody under 40 can remember, we look forward to the restoration of these other archetypal British icons of the past:
  • Spam fritters
  • "On the Buses"
  • "Skinny Ribs" shirts
  • Casual Racism
  • Sweet rationing
  • School curry with raisins in it
  • Michael Foot
  • French Pox
  • Power cuts
  • The Longbow
  • Sham 69
  • White dog poo 
  • Singing cheerful songs in the Tube while your house is blown up
  • British Rail sandwiches
  • Cricketers batting without helmets
  • The Hillman Imp van
  • "Crossroads"
With these British icons securely reinstated, we can go boldly forwards towards the 1890s!

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. And don't forget it's nearly Christmas!


  1. Monochrome television.

  2. Footballers with perms and tiny shorts.

  3. Children being obliged to know who their father was, as he was married to their mother.

    Kids not being taught about sexual practices in primary school, and not being allowed to change sex according to whether blue/pink was their favourite colour.

    A lack of opportunity for drug dealers to ply their trade.

    The country being scarred with railway lines, so that people found it very difficult to live a long way from a station.

    The Anglican church only appointing bishops that all their members accepted as bishops.

    People who walked down the street carrying a telephone and staring at it being regarded as insane.

  4. Replies
    1. You mean you can't get them any more? I must be (even) more out of touch than I thought!

  5. Harold Wilson
    James Callaghan
    The Milk Snatcher

    Gas Lighting.

    Kerosine Heaters.

    The Marlboro Man

    The Milky Boy Kid

    Tiny Tim

    Sunday Night at the London Paladium

    Bruce Forsyth

    Bulls Eye.

    Mr Edd

  6. Corporal punishment for Primary School children.

    Small boys in short trousers in midwinter.

  7. Proper chemistry sets for children that you could enjoy doing dangerous experiments with.

  8. Power cuts



    Domestic violence a natural part of family life

    Only rubbish jobs for women

    Happy days.

  9. Half crowns (a coin whose weight gave it a real sense of its value)

    Three-day week (under the Tories, don't forget)

    Reporting deaths and injuries on the roads for bank holiday weekends.

    British Leyland


    Bob-a-job week


  10. The smell of a Bakelite radio. If we don't get that back, what is Brexit for?

    1. Ashtrays everywhere. Especially Bakelite ashtrays.


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