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Friday, 19 December 2014

The All-Purpose Christmas Press Release Bingo Card

It's the same every year. The same old stories. The bloke called Noel who's born on Christmas Day, disbelieving bishops, terrified local authority officials being told by sensible Muslims to stop being sensitive prats...

Well, now you can enjoy the preparation for Christmas Yule  the Festive Season with this exciting Christmas Press Release bingo card! Just tick off the list as you read the stories or see them linked as click-bait on Twitter! If you get all 20, shout "I'm a Bingo Winner and You can  call me Rudolph!"


VICAR SAYS SANTA DOESN’T EXIST
WERE THE ANGELS ALIENS?
NATIVITY PLAYS NOT TRADITIONAL ANYMORE
EXPERT SAYS CHRISTMAS BASED ON ANCIENT CELTIC FESTIVAL
DISTRIBUTION NETWORK BREAKS DOWN UNDER UNEXPECTED PRESENT-BUYING
“WHY DO SCHOOLS DO NATIVITY PLAYS?” ASKS  ATHEIST GRINCH
LOCAL AUTHORITY RENAMES CHRISTMAST “SNOWFEST” - OUTRAGE
WAS JESUS’S FATHER A ROMAN SOLDIER?
SOMEBODY FINDS SOMETHING OFFENSIVE IN “FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK”
THREE WISE MEN “NEVER EXISTED”
EXPERT SAYS CHRISTMAS BASED ON ANGLO-SAXON “YULE” 
POLITICIANS’ CHRISTMAS CARDS ARE ALL ABOUT THEMSELVES
CHRISTMAS TV ”ALL REPEATS”
EXPERT SAYS  CHRISTMAS BASED ON MITHRAISM
CHRISTMAS SALES “WORSE THAN EXPECTED” DUE TO HOT / COLD / WET / SNOWY WEATHER
PHOTOCOPYING YOUR BOTTOM GIVEN NEW LIFE BY “EMAIL” SCANNER FACILITY
CHRISTMAS “CAN GIVE YOU CANCER”
BISHOP SAYS THERE WAS NO MANGER
SIX-WEEK WHITE CHRISTMAS BRINGS IN “SNOW-MAGGEDON”
EAT DRINK AND BE MERRY. WE’LL RUN THE LIVER DISEASE STORY ON BOXING DAY

It's funny though, you know. If you see the amount of drivel thrown at the Christmas story - almost as much as the tinsel under the multicultural Festive tree - you start to think what is it, in this story of a baby, born in strange circumstances, that makes so many people get so bothered? You'd almost think he has a power way beyond the situation he was born into.

3 comments :

  1. A quick look at today's Daily Mail:

    Girls drink too much at Christmas parties.

    How to avoid naff decorations and faux pas.

    Mrs Thatcher didn't let her hair down at Christmas.

    What should a knackered mother drink at Christmas?

    It's panic Saturday as people decide to, er, go shopping.

    Great Christmas getaway begins as people decide to, er, get away.

    Princess Kate will be with the Queen at Christmas. How unusual.

    Someone makes a cake looking like an angel.

    Bishop gives profound sermon on the purpose of the incarnation, with quotations from Augustine and Aquinas, making reference to the Fall of Man, Redemption, and the Last Judgement. Oh sorry, I made that one up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So, what's on offer at the Daily Mail today?

    Psychologist tells you how to choose the perfect gift.

    Britain gets some cold weather.

    Duchess of Cambridge does some "last minute" Christmas shopping.

    Gemma Collins flogs festive jumpers on the TOWIE Christmas special [sorry, this means nothing to me].

    Christmas dinner with a twist but without the stress [drink lots of Prosecco, apparently]

    Some William and Kate lookalikes go shopping in Wilko's.

    Somebody else with heavenly legs in skintight leather trousers does some Christmas shopping.

    I can't take much more of this excitement.

    ReplyDelete

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