Friday 5 December 2014

In the UKIP Midwinter

To some literalists, it's the most ridiculous Christmas carol. They object to the first line, and ignore the rest. "In the Bleak Midwinter? I bet it wasn't even snowing."

To me, it's the finest, most theologically beautiful of all Christian hymns - regardless of the time of year. The mystery of the Incarnation, swept up in the beauty of homeliness and wintry weather.

But to Nigel Farage, it's a nightmare. Christina Rossetti was clearly a "hidden immigrant" - look at her name, after all. And there's another problem with it.


So to help keep the UKIP Christmas Carol Service embarrassment-free, we've rewritten that most poignant of verses and made it UKIP-friendly. 

How Rossetti wrote it

How Nigel wants it

Enough for Him, whom cherubim
worship night and day,
A breastful of milk, and a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, whom angels fall before,
The ox and ass and camel which adore.
Enough for Him, whom cherubim, worship night and day,
His mother in the corner, and a mangerful of hay;
Enough for Him, who will judge the quick and the dead
To receive his breakfast with a blanket on his head.


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