Sunday 28 December 2014

Are You Rapture Ready?

Are you Rapture Ready? Answer our simple quiz to find out.

1. The current state of the Middle East is......
a) The logical outcome of the previous state of the Middle East, mixed with the idiocy of Bush and Blair.
b) Predicted in the Book of Revelation.

2. If you're a Christian in Iraq you should:
a) Make sure you're somewhere safe. Probably pray as well. I hope we can help.
b) Rejoice. Your sufferings mean some fat get in the West can feel it's all coming to a logical end.

3. The best thing about your car is:
a) A low-emissions engine. Will save the ice caps.
b) A sunroof. Will save you banging your head when the Day arrives.

4.   The dearest possession in your house is
a) Your family Bible, handed down from Gt-Grandad Arnold
b) The family Uzi, handed down from Uncle "Redneck Jeb".

5. A vacant space in the car park means
a) Some-one else just left the car park.
b) Your prayers, over those of the daughter of an Ebola victim in Sierra Leone, have been heard. Well done! Your holiness rocks!

6. The growth of hunger and homelessness means
a) You should give more to those who need it.
b) The End is nearly here.

7. When walking down the street you look up
a) In case a piano falls on you
b) In case an angel is calling you.

8. What do you think of fracking?
a) If it produces natural gas then - subject to ensuring it's safe - it might be a useful short-term provider of energy.
b) Earthquakes! Random explosions! Landslides! Dividends! I'm in! For the short term, obviously.


Mostly (a) Are you some kind of pinko-liberal? You're going nowhere when the day comes are you?
Mostly (b) Better adopt the "braced" position! You're off to a cloud any day now!

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