Friday 12 December 2014

Why Baby Jesus Would Never Go on the X-Factor

"No Crying He Makes"

Why? If the cattle that aren't mentioned in the Scriptures were lowing, and awoke the Baby Jesus, why would he make no crying?

Real babies, real human babies, would cry, wouldn't they? In my experience the problem isn't that "no crying they make". The main thing is that they don't stop once they've started.

So why would the Little Lord Jesus not cry? If the only thing that distinguishes him - behaviourally speaking - from other babies is that he is without sin, then the answer is obvious.

Crying is a sign of sin.

This, at least, would explain something about the X-Factor. If all the contestants were (as they seem to be) constantly crying, then clearly this is the result of sin. Presumably the sin of pride and/or avarice - the idea that by turning up, moderately-talented as most of them are, with a sad back-story, they are instantly entitled to fame, respect and money. And so they cry. Cry when they go through to the next round, cry if they don't. Cry, in general. at how the world hasn't noticed that they deserve to be famous and rich, just for being the works of art that they are.

So if crying is a sin, and crying is a feature of being on the X-factor: whether winning, losing, or just being there giving your back story, then the moral is obvious, isn't it?

The Baby Jesus would never go on the X-factor.


  1. On the other hand, I've always thought that the "No crying he makes" was unscriptural. Babies cry when they want something, and even Jesus was unable to talk when a baby (er, I think so).

    1. Amen, Bruvver. Jesus was a real baby. Wasn't he?


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