Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Rigidly Defining the Borders of the Church

OK, so war has once again broken out between the Music Group and the Flower Arrangers. This is not the first time, probably won't be the last, but we've had to act. We normally try mediation, consulting, discussion, reconciliation. But on this occasion all normal channels of diplomacy have broken down. Turns out that Stransley "borrowed" the strings off Gerbo's ukulele to train a live ivy up Dreadnort's clarinet as an avant-garde flower arrangement. From my perspective, that neatly takes two instruments of mass disruption out of action with one fell swoop. But still, the Quire responded by throwing copies of "Mission Praise Combined" at the flower arrangers, and some deliberate scattering of lily pollen - in direct contravention of the Geneva Convention - broke out, and so I've decided it's better to draw the line.

Quite a lot of lines, actually. We've divided up the Moot House into a number of autonomous zones. Obviously the Druids have overall executive control. But the only way for the flower arranger and the musician to be friends was to introduce a rigidly-patrolled buffer zone. The area around the Tea Light Stand is a neutral zone, like Antarctica, protected by treaty.

The country of Free Flower-Arrangie was, last I heard, working on the elements of a new alphabet, to go with a language that only has seven nouns, one of which is "oasis". Also, we've shot down what we believe are a couple of Cleaning Drones, that were trying to get behind the Flower Arranger's defences and clear up some fallen leaves.

But I'm particularly worried about the Coffee Team enclave. Up to now they've been OK, as the regular congregation have been taking in food parcels. But we're going to have to negotiate them safe passage to the South Door before one of them bursts.

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