Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Always With Us

The New Products team at the Beaker Bazaar have been struggling over the new luxury bath-oils range we were hoping to bring out for Easter. Looks like we're going to have to push it back to Christmas after all.

Oddly enough, it's not the products themselves for our luxury scents pack - they're suitably expensive. It's the name and packaging.

Hnaef had suggested the traditional kind of picture of an attractive lady, relaxing in ginseng-and-frankinsense idleness, thus showing that if you pay our outlandish prices you can expect a truly spiritual experience - and so he was suggesting "Astral Wave".

But I wanted to really express the Ancient Middle East and Africa - our rootedness in the lands in which humans originated, and then so many major religions come. So I suggested a shot of the small children who pick the coffee that goes into our "Morning pick-you-up" bath oil, on a purely voluntary indenture basis. Makes you feel all ethnic. Lovely to see the pictures of them going out to work, all fresh-faced and innocent.

But keeping Hnaef's point, and to stress that sense of the faithfulness of the Divine being with People of Faith through the ages, I suggested we could call the collection "Still With Us".


  1. I think that you'd be on to a winner if you depicted 'fashion models' or 'clothes horses' such as Kate Moss or David Cameron, relaxing together in an Aqua Bath! Hang on, that'd be provocative as DC is married to a different fashion model, Sam Cameron?

    What about Borish Johnson and Ken Livinghardstone in a Jacuzee together. That would prove how apolitical you are, especially if Caroline Lucas was pouring the oils over their heads.

  2. I had a colleague who was so enamoured of a certain synthetic perfume that she used every single product in the range, every day. I knew to the second when she arrived for work, as she was preceded by a wave of the potent pong.

    I think you could be on to a spiritual and commercial success here. You can market your product to suitable causes/cults, and arrange that all supporters/members should identify themselves, not by items of personal adornment but by an unmistakeable smell. Each member's persoal dedication to the cause/religion (oops, meant to type "cult") could then be measured as the radius of their odour-sphere. This would at last provide an accurate and objective assessment of the level of spirituality of the devotees, so that they can be properly ranked in order of their hierachy of belief.

    Go for it!

  3. Strange how when we delay something we say we push it back, whereas it's actually going forward in time. Similarly we say we bring things forward when they actually go back in time.


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