Friday, 10 August 2012

Naga Louts

I'm up early because I've got to prepare for Burton Dasset's annual journey to the Great British Beer Festival.

Really I can't stand the way he behaves after he's been out at these things. He goes down there, hangs out with his IT and accounting mates, then when he gets back he's going around telling everybody the body, mouthfeel and aftertaste of every beer he's drunk.

On the bright side, because of the security situation with the Olympics he's leaving the Chemistry equipment at home this year. I could do without those bar charts comparing Standard Bitterness Units.

And this year's the worst of all. He reckons his mate Boring (not his real name) has found a place in London where they sell Naga Madras curry. Because after a few beers, they always decide that's the truest test of manhood. Thankfully, due to the security etc, we'll be spared the Scoville Units graphs as well.

But this year I've come up with a cunning plan. I'm starting painting things pink now, and when he's off to Town I'm going to switch on the SEP field. Hopefully that will leave him to wander round the village for the night, tilll some of the boringness has worn off.


  1. Is it 'be cruel to Burton year?@ because you are definitely on some sort of persecution trip.

    Poor Burton, he doesn't have much in life, apart from bean counting, defrauding the revenue, burning the books, train spotting and bear drinking.

    Now, you are seeking to deprive him of his annual fun at the beer festival. Surely you should venerate his geekiness and thank the God's that he's saved your bacon many times when HMRC come poking around.

    Who else could run a mega-business, with an income in the trillions, without paying any VAT or Corporation tax?

    Kindness to Burton needs to be high on your agenda.

    1. Any accountant with moral fibre and a few braincells would know what's going on and refuse to be a part of it.

      And I cannot say quite positively that Burton has never lacked moral fibre.

  2. Or maybe that's "can say". I shouldn't never have hesitated to embark on that quadruple negative.


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