Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Service for Introverts


The congregation can slip into their seats while quiet music is playing - something a bit uplifting, but not too pushy.


The Leaders (not that they'd want to go calling themselves that) amble in from various doors, at fairly random intervals, and sit down without drawing too much attention to themselves.

Books may be distributed. These can be spiritually uplifting, encouraging, thoughtful or The Road Less Travelled. If you feel the need to read 50 Shades of taking Advantage of Another's Low Self-Esteem, you'd be better off with it on Kindle. As if you'd only draw attention to yourself with the book. Better still, read something else.

Liturgical Dance

Are you having a laugh? Just watching the dancers at the Olympic Closing Ceremony made us wonder how they coud do that.


The Sermon will be renamed "The Talk". And then "The Chat". And then "Some random ideas - just a few thoughts - of course, just my opinion." The preacher will then decide that, on the whole, she'd rather stay where she is - there's a nice bit on St Benedict in the book she's reading.


Methodists in the congregation may belt out "And can it Be". Methodist introverts are not affected with introversion during hymns.


The leaders may sneak out, mouthing "bye" to a few very close friends - but ideally only if they don't catch their eyes.

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