Wednesday 15 August 2012

We are All Heretics

There's nothing makes me so keen to believe in things like the Assumption of Mary so much as a webpage that describes it as a "damnable heresy". Frankly, my rule in general is never to agree with a web page that's in Man Utd colours, and the mis-use of the word "heresy" is astounding.

See, I don't see how the word "heresy" can be used in a Protestant environment. The Wiki definition of "heresy" is "A Heresy is any belief or theory that is strongly at variance with established beliefs or customs." Which seems very fair, but of course the definition of Protestantism is that you can't really have established beliefs. The very start of Protestantism was when somebody decided the (Roman) (Catholic) Church had got something wrong, and then other Protestants disagreed with him, and others with him. Basically, if you judge that any man or woman able to read the Bible can come up with their own interpretation - and rejection of a central Church authority certainly does mean that, at root - then you can't have heresy on that interpretation.

But heresy - αἵρεσις - apparently means choice. I'm no Greek scholar, but it strikes me that if that's the root of the word then there's a problem for Protestants. All Protestants have to make choices. Given there is no magisterium, they must try to find truth out for themselves. Some may believe that the Bible is God's word, but they only have the Bible to tell them that. They can't trust anyone else. They all have to make choices - how to interpret any given phrase, whether to believe the KJV is the only authentic Bible or whether others are equally acceptable. They are all heretics. When the author of JesusIsSavior describes something as "heresy", what he is really saying is that he doesn't agree with it - based on his reading of a book that self-describes as the word of God (and even then only based on his own personal interpretation of that book.

So my conclusion is obvious. On that basis, we are all heretics.

By the way, I am aware that there is a danger that the whole website is in fact a spoof, written by someone who is wanting to make us all laugh at what these wacky fundamentalists get up to. But I take comfort in the fact there's tons of this stuff on that website. This gives me some confidence that it's in earnest. After all, who would spend years putting material on a website if the whole thing were just a giant parody?

11 comments :

  1. Me again - sorry - but thank you. Brilliant!

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    1. Please don't apologise for comments. Especially nice ones. Every little helps, as I once mentioned to Terry Leahy.

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  2. " After all, who would spend years putting material on a website if the whole thing were just a giant parody?" Indeed Archdruid Eileen, indeed.

    Although to be frank (i.e. open and honest, not the drug advice person) I once spent some time writing a website that was just a parody of Batman (completely incompetent, and Alfred was a pron addict who hung around old folks homes trying to pick up the ladies). Honestly, the whole thing was just meant to be a big joke but, whilst most people got the joke a few actually thought I really believed I was Batman. They believed I truly thought I was Batman!!! So perhaps the same applies to that website. Who knows?

    As far as the word 'heresy' is concerned I am going to adopt the method that many people on the Internet adopt, and witter on about something authoritatively even though I actually haven't a clue what I am talking about.

    In my opinion (almost as authoritative as Uncyclopedia), it could be said that 'Heresy' is a corruption of the word 'Hearsay'. This would then bring the word into line with the meaning implied by the creator of the website you refer to.

    Alternatively, 'Heresy' could be a corruption of the words 'Ere Oi Say!' This expression could have been used when people said something that others disagreed with and they would respond with a vigorous "Ere Oi Say!" if they were in the West Country, or a more refined "Here I Say! By Jove, What!" if they were from Salford near Manchester or somewhere genteel like that.

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    1. There's some law about when parody and truth converge. They can get pretty close sometimes. As I mentioned to Drayton Parslow that time he was boycotting "Mothercare" for letting fathers in as well.

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  3. Oh, I wish I'd heeded your warning and not clicked. I've a theory that the more a website hurts your eyes the more extreme its author.

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  4. This post is such a relief. I have been worrying that I am a heretic for some time. Every time I read about one I am convinced I have all the symptoms.

    It is good to have it on such good authority that I am really a Protestant. Although is Protestantism itself a heresy for the Roman Catholics and Orthodox?

    Still, at least I'll only have one heresy and not a legion.

    Can I stop taking the tablets now?

    "who would spend years putting material on a website if the whole thing were just a giant parody?"

    Surely no-one would do that? Especially on such a serious subject as God and religion?

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    1. Protestantism was officially defined as a heresy at some council sometime, yes. Probably the Council of Trent, but maybe the Council of Ouse, or Nene.

      I think some of our Catholic friends have started referring to Protestants as "Separarated Brethren", which sounds to me like a group of particularly unfriendly people from Plymouth. And also implies Protestants are all blokes.

      But this website has a less charitable view. Makes you wonder if the author even thinks the Pope is a Catholic.

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    2. Protestantism was officially defined as a heresy at some council sometime, yes. Probably the Council of Trent, but maybe the Council of Ouse, or Nene.

      I think some of our Catholic friends have started referring to Protestants as "Separarated Brethren", which sounds to me like a group of particularly unfriendly people from Plymouth. And also implies Protestants are all blokes.

      But this website has a less charitable view. Makes you wonder if the author even thinks the Pope is a Catholic.

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    3. Good grief! I thought that site was a spoof but it isn't.

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  5. Thanks to your reply I discovered Poe's Law (not the poetry thing, the other one) and yes it makes sense.

    On the subject of heresy...hearsay...ere oi say!...hairy, see?...αἵρεσις...I'll get my cape in a second...

    ...let us not forget that according to the Orthodox Church the Popes and Romans are all heretics as well, ever since the Great Schism.

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  6. Some people get so annoyed when they're called heretics. I always think that with the, er, great variety in Christian beliefs around today, pretty well all of us are heretics from someone's point of view.

    It does get a little worrying when someone with perhaps not very much theological education is reading one of those books about famous people in the early church, nodding approvingly as their views on the nature of God, or whatever it might be, are explained.

    And then the author adds something along the lines of 'Of course, this is clearly an example of the X heresy...' (I, I mean, some people, can't keep the names of all the classic heresies straight, so I'll write 'X').

    Oh, well, at least it's some comfort to know that this isn't the only period in history during which Christians disagreed among themselves. And the church has survived the others.

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