Bacon, Alcohol and Venison for a Gay Catholic Breakfast

I really must stop listening to the breakfast show on Radio 5. It's not good for my blood pressure (and neither is bacon or beef pie, according to this morning's show).

So two days ago, it was the Catholic woman who was interviewed, who said that the answer to alleged homosexual activity in seminaries was not to allow gay men into seminaries. She drew an analogy to letting an alcoholic loose in an offie, if I remember rightly. Which would presumably mean that those C of E colleges that allow in both men and women must be hotbeds of  middle-aged wannabe-clerical sexual frustration. Unless she imagines it's only gay men that have trouble controlling their - ahem - urges. I mean - a heterosexual male priest would barely be able to go to church for over-excitement, surrounded by so many females as he would normally be.

Then yesterday it was the health people telling us that we're the sick nation of Europe because, among other things, our consumption of alcohol has risen so much. Nobody questioned this alleged fact - despite the consumption of alcohol having dropped over the last six years. Maybe we do all need to drink even less - but let's start with the truth.

But today's chap really took the biscuit. Talking about the need to cull deer, he first of all announced the main problem was too many people, leaving us to draw the obvious conclusion. But then he came up with the most interesting argument I've heard in a long time. He agreed that the deer should be culled. But he stressed that this should not be done for sport. A fascinating argument - it's right that we should cull deer to keep the population down. But the person doing it shouldn't be doing it for recreation. On his argument, the only people that should be allowed to carry out this necessary task - are the ones that really don't want to do it. Logically, a team of crack vegan markspeople should be sent out to dispatch the excess antlered friends, and then afterwards go home, agonise about it and hate themselves. The dead animal should then be incinerated - as clearly if somebody ate it, they might enjoy the meal. 

Frankly, if we're going to be a world of sexless people, drinking water and not allowed to eat a decent venison steak, the last guy may be right. I'll let the deer inherit the earth. At least they can enjoy eating bluebells.