Sunday, 10 March 2013

Those Weird Old Tips that Nobody Tells You

How to look ten years younger in seconds

Take your glasses off when you look in a mirror.
(Bald men only) - Wear a hoody up.
(Men with beards) - Shave it off. It looks ridiculous.

How to lose weight in just a few weeks

Move to a planet with weaker gravity.

How to revolutionise your prayer life

Pray every day. It doesn't need to be fun.

How to love your neighbours even if you don't like them

Act like you do.

How to have millions of people really not care if you leave the country - in fact, be rather pleased if you do. In fact, take your brain-dead gambling ads with you. 

Compare taxation to sexual assault.

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